Kobayashi Go of the U-Next Pirates has been caught cheating during M-League games.
Authorities say that they found a microchip embedded in his left hand and a device that vibrates when he places his hand over the best tile to discard.
Reports of suspicious activity started to come in after Kobayashi switched from being a right-handed player to being a left-handed player in the middle of the season.
Kobayashi’s performance this season was one of the best in the league, with +337.5 and a 6/14/10/1 record. Kobayashi also has the best last-place avoidance rate of this season and of all time.
When passed through a metal detector, Kobayashi’s whole body had registered as metal, indicating that he might just be a robot. Local insiders say that the injury in his right hand was caused by a bug while trying to update his operating system.
When Kobayashi was asked about these allegations, he told reporters, “01000001 01110000 01110010 01101001 01101100 00100000 01000110 01101111 01101111 01101100 01110011.”
There are similar reports that say that Sasaki may not be human either and that he’s a god. No investigations are planned because everyone already knows that it’s true.
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