M-League Watch

People Magazine has chosen Kondo Seiichi of the Sega Sammy Phoenix as the Sexiest Man Alive for 2021.

Kondo Seiichi is well known for documenting his trip to hot springs and being constantly surrounded by women. On March 4, 2021, Kondo made us all sweat when he won a Riichi/Ippatsu/Tsumo/Pinfu/Tanyao/Iipeikou/Aka 1/Ura 1 in South 4 to go from 4th to 1st.

When Kondo received news that he had received the title, he wasn’t surprised. “They don’t call me ‘Sexy Seiichi’ for nothing!” he told the media.

The western media magazines aren’t the only ones taking advantages of Kondo’s hotness. Kindai Mahjong will now be featuring Kondo at the front of their magazines instead of women in bikinis. This change is expected to increase their sales, as people buying it will no longer be embarrassed or be considered weirdos.

When M-League Watch reached out to People Magazine about its expansion in considering people outside of the western world and breaking with tradition in announcing it in April instead of November, they gave us this:

Just like how many companies release new products, we chose April 1st as the day to break the news and expand our horizons. And what better place to expand our horizons than the “Land of the Rising Sun”?

The court case between Sonoda Ken of the Akasaka Drivens and Ishibashi Nobuhiro of the U-Next Pirates is now underway.

Ishibashi is suing Sonoda for 10,000,000 yen for copyright infringement after Sonoda had used Ishibashi’s signature “Red 5 Discard Trap” on December 3, 2020. The maneuver, which was done in S1-0, cost Ishibashi 5,500 points and was one of the contributing factors in the stress he experienced in S4-0 of the same game.

“He stole my signature move,” Ishibashi told reporters in front of the courthouse, “He was the last person I expected to steal from me.”

Sonoda was very confident that he was going to win the case, just like how he won that game against Ishibashi. “It’s mahjong! Any discard is legal. What’s next? Someone copyrights the act of discarding genbutsu? Selling yaku cards that change every year for 850 yen?”

M-League Watch has found an old patent with the alpha-numeric ID dQw4w9WgXcQ which indicates that Ishibashi is the rightful owner of the move.

The National Institute of Public Health of Japan has released a statement regarding the statements said and actions of Ishibashi Nobuhiro on December 14, 2020.

The first incident reported detailed an account of Ishibashi Nobuhiro calling riichi with two visible dragon pons and none of the other green dragons visible. The institute states that, “Merely watching the actions of Mr. Ishibashi may cause accelerated aging and shave years off your lifespan.” They also stated that such actions are very dangerous and can be life-threatening, especially if you are playing for blood.

The second incident detailed in the account was a statement made by Mr. Ishibashi. When being interviewed, he was asked about what he would do if he drew the green dragon. He replied, “I would eat it.”

Since then, the “Green Dragon Challenge” has been circulating on social media. The institute reiterates that this is very dangerous activity. “Attempting to eat mahjong tiles may block your airways, which may lead to choking or even death. You only have one shot at life. Don’t end it short with one hatsu.” Still, even a professional mahjong player has attempted to eat mahjong tiles.

The institute clearly reminds people to “have some common sense and to think before you act.”

“In conclusion, don’t be a fool.”

Kobayashi Go of the U-Next Pirates has been caught cheating during M-League games.

Authorities say that they found a microchip embedded in his left hand and a device that vibrates when he places his hand over the best tile to discard.

Reports of suspicious activity started to come in after Kobayashi switched from being a right-handed player to being a left-handed player in the middle of the season.

Kobayashi’s performance this season was one of the best in the league, with +337.5 and a 6/14/10/1 record. Kobayashi also has the best last-place avoidance rate of this season and of all time.

When passed through a metal detector, Kobayashi’s whole body had registered as metal, indicating that he might just be a robot. Local insiders say that the injury in his right hand was caused by a bug while trying to update his operating system.

When Kobayashi was asked about these allegations, he told reporters, “01000001 01110000 01110010 01101001 01101100 00100000 01000110 01101111 01101111 01101100 01110011.”

There are similar reports that say that Sasaki may not be human either and that he’s a god. No investigations are planned because everyone already knows that it’s true.